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Dolly To Buy The Island, Make It Float By 2020.

At a press conference today, Dolly Parton’s management company announced plans to purchase the entire 23-acre property, as well as the businesses and people therein, and infuse it with breakthrough technology to turn it into an airborne attraction by 2020. It will be re-branded as “Dolly Parton’s Island In The Stream”.

Gerald Wear, Investments Global/U LLC Vice President, made the announcement today at the LeConte Press Conference Center early this morning.

Dolly faux logo“You’re probably wondering why I went to such lengths to drag each and every one of you here at 4:00 in the morning.” Gerald reported, “With the black helicopters and the private security team and the blindfolding and all that. Well, here’s the news worth risking sanctions by the United Nations – we are buying The Island in Pigeon Forge and by Summer 2020, it will be Pigeon Forge’s first airborne amusement property.”

When asked how it will compare to the Wonders of Flight hot air balloon or the scenic helicopter tours industry in Sevier County, Wear responded, “No, this is the entire Island property – all 23 acres of it plus Lumberjack Adventures. We will be using brand new, state-of-the-art technology that our partner, Enhasa Industries, has developed, and we expect to have The Island rise 300 feet in the air and sustain its altitude by 2020.”

Wear described the technology as “dream-like” in its architecture, “We will be using a custom-designed Mammon machine to power Island In The Stream’s buoyancy. The machine creates an ionic shift out of quantum combustion, which we’re lucky to find is very prevalent in this particular zone of time and space, and that will create an anti-gravity field to lift the Island up, and then the machine will automatically regulate the combustion volume to maintain a consistent altitude within 10 feet margin of the targeted altitude.”

Wear added, “It’s going to be a lot like Jurassic Park… complete with deer, bear, and elk we hope to turn loose by the Christmas season for 2020.”

WATE reporter Matt Gerhardt asked if there were concerns whether the attraction, unprecedented in Sevier County, would be able to sustain its economic model with experimental, costly and unproven technology. Wear responded, “The only thing we would have any concern on at this point is Lavos, and he was supposed to re-emerge back in 1999. No, we’re quite confident that our attraction will provide the same high quality entertainment and assurance as Dollywood, Dixie Stampede and all the other Dolly Parton properties we have throughout Pigeon Forge.”

More information will be made available in the coming weeks at islandinthestreamproject.com.

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